Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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