I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
