So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
