U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
