She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
