but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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