Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
