I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I wish there were birth control emojis
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So vagazzling was a success
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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