there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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