I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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