I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
