i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
