I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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