My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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