im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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