i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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