oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
