Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
