Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
