You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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