lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
