the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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