So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize