their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
