we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
