I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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