I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
