I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
