God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
