Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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