i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Randomize
