I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize