Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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