Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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