is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
