So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
