The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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