bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
