you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
