I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
this hospital has no fireball
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
