just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
