The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize