we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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