that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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