Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
should my penis look like a turkey
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
