I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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