my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
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