I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
