Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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