Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
