____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
