I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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