I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
