My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
