we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
