do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
