Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
