I'm eating all of the evidence.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
