idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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