I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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