...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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