I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
